


i hope i’ll see you when it’s light

by nightwideopen



Series: Winterhawk Bingo [3]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Bingo, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining, WinterHawk Bingo 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22544359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightwideopen/pseuds/nightwideopen
Summary: Contrary to what Bucky thinks he knows about himself, after the fifth time they sleep together, he kind ofwantsClint to stay.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Series: Winterhawk Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858948
Comments: 49
Kudos: 232
Collections: Winterhawk Bingo





	i hope i’ll see you when it’s light

**Author's Note:**

> just a little something to alleviate the writer's block 
> 
> **Square filled:** Vision Loss

The first time they sleep together, Bucky doesn’t expect Clint to stay. He assumes that they’re in a mutual agreement that it's a one off that was a product of post-fight adrenaline and mutually bad decision making. 

Not that it was bad. It wasn’t. But that’s not the point. It's just that they're both incredibly impulsive and competitive and Bucky may have interpreted Clint’s accidental flirting as a dare that turned into a game of gay chicken that neither of them were particularly interested in losing. So maybe it wasn’t the _best_ idea, due to the fact that they didn’t stop to consider that it may or may not affect their friendship in any way, but it wasn’t... bad.

It was actually quite nice. 

Either way, Bucky isn’t disappointed as he watches Clint rub at his eyes and collect his clothes from quite literally every corner of Bucky’s room. There’s no icky feelings of regret, or a fear that Bucky might have accidentally fallen in love over the past two or so hours. Bucky just casually watches him slink out with a sheepish wave, and smirks just to watch him blush.

They’re friends. It’s fine. It’s just cute. Bucky can appreciate that his friend is cute and easily flustered without developing a crush on him after sleeping with him one time.

Right?

-

Contrary to what Bucky thinks he knows about himself, after the fifth time they sleep together, he kind of _wants_ Clint to stay. 

Maybe it’s the calm quiet smile that Clint gets on his face. He just lies there with his eyes closed, grinning at nothing in particular as if this is the best moment of his life and he doesn’t have a care in the world. Bucky’s seen that smile in about half a dozen different iterations – when Clint having a particularly good slice of pizza, when someone gives him coffee in the morning _before_ he makes his desperate grunt, when he sees his dog – but this one is definitely his favorite. It's vulnerable, it's intimate, it's just for Bucky.

Bucky’s bedroom faces west, and somehow he always manages to get Clint in his bed just in time for the sunset. And just like always, he’s now painted golden, hair shining and freckles accentuated. Bucky can’t help but reach out and touch, tracing the ridiculous tan lines on Clint’s arm and hand from his arm guards and finger tabs. 

“You wear them just for show, don’t you?” Bucky muses.

Clint eyes stay closed, but he lets out a huff of a laugh, knowing what Bucky means right away.

“Don’t expose me,” he says softly with his sleepy gruff voice. “Just because I’m a good enough archer to never snap my own arm with the string doesn’t mean I don’t like the _aesthetic_. Archers are badass. We have cool gear.”

Bucky laughs. “Modest.”

Clint doesn’t say anything after that, just smiles wider with a sigh as he pulls Bucky closer to him. 

They lie there as the sun sets, and once it's dark Clint starts to stir. Bucky whines as Clint takes his arm back and starts to get up. And something in him decides to reach out for Clint's wrist, to whisper, "Stay."

Clint looks as surprised as Bucky feels.

"I– I can't. I'm sorry."

He's gone and out the door before Bucky can say it's alright, but when the door clicks shut, Bucky finds that maybe it isn't.

-

Bucky doesn't mean to, but he finds himself avoiding Clint. He ducks behind doorways and stays away from the common spaces, hides in his room and keeps out of the range. He doesn't realize he's doing it on purpose until he finds himself out of breath from running back to his and Steve's floor after catching a glimpse of purple when he turned the corner into the kitchen.

He feels foolish. The whole thing feels ridiculous. He misses Clint and his kisses and his warm hands and the smell of his shampoo that lingers on Bucky's pillows sometimes. He's only depriving himself because he had to go and make it awkward like an idiot.

He caught feelings just like they swore they wouldn't.

Just as Bucky makes it to his room, but before he can actually open his door, Clint's voice sounds from behind him.

"I thought I saw you take off."

Against his better judgment, Bucky turns to look at him. Clint looks just as irresistibly cozy _and_ sexy as he always does. Bucky doesn't know what he was expecting.

"Sorry. Tired. Couldn't sleep last night."

It's not the whole truth, but it's not a lie. He slept, just not as well as he would've liked to.

"Yeah. Me neither." Clint twists his fingers into the hem of his own shirt. "I've missed you."

That knocks the wind out of Bucky. He's an idiot for denying himself this perfectly wonderfully honest and vulnerable man. He's so _stupid_.

"I'm right here." He phrases it as a challenge so that he doesn't have to make the first move.

It works. Clint goes from tentative to predatory in two seconds flat and before Bucky knows it he's being kissed within an inch of his life and pushed into his own bedroom.

Just as the door slams shut, he thinks, _Well shit._

-

Because Bucky is a masochist, he asks Clint to stay again.

Predictably, Clint doesn't. But this time Bucky doesn't avoid him like the plague for two weeks and give himself emotional blue balls from missing him. He just shrugs, pulls Clint in by the back of his neck for a kiss, and goes about business as usual.

It works for them. It's fine. It's cool. They still watch movies together, they still have rollerblading competitions in Central Park, they still prank Steve and bake various snack foods and save the world together.

As much as Bucky would like to see Clint's goofy grin as soon as he wakes up, they're still _BuckyandClint_ the rest of the time. It's not like he needs to hold Clint's hand and call him his boyfriend and kiss him in public and take him on real dates. 

It's fine. 

-

It's not fine.

The fourth time Bucky asks Clint to stay, he pouts when Clint says no. The eighth time, he frowns so hard that he thinks he pulls a muscle in his face. The eleventh time, well, Bucky may or may not start crying, but you didn't hear that from him.

"Hey, no." Clint goes from apologetic to concerned mother hen. He's patting at Bucky's face like that'll take the twisted expression off of it. "Don't do that. Buck, please don't cry. _Shit_. I'm sorry."

Bucky figures he's in for a penny, he's already crying, this can't possibly get much worse.

"Why? Why won't you stay?" He sniffles wetly. "I know– I _know_ we said just friends. I'm sorry, I didn't _mean_ to, okay? I just... I just want you to stay. Please stay."

"I–" Clint looks like he wants to jump out of Bucky's window just to avoid this situation. Bucky feels much the same. "Okay. Fine, okay. I'll stay. I just– Let me grab some stuff from my room, okay? I– Fine. Fuck. Just please stop crying? Please. I don't want you to be upset."

Bucky wipes at his face, nodding quickly. "Okay. I'm okay. Go ahead. I'm gonna shower."

Clint nods back, and bolts out of the room in nothing but his boxers.

Bucky stares after him, disbelieving, for much too long a moment.

"Well, shit."

-

When Clint returns, Bucky doesn't expect him to be toting a toiletries bag. He didn't bring any clothes, or blankets, or anything else you might need when spending the night somewhere you're not familiar with. Just the bag.

Bucky's back in bed, hair still wet from the shower, and Clint rushes over to kiss him hard.

"It's not because I didn't want to," he says quietly, just a whisper.

Bucky doesn't understand. But he doesn't get a chance to ask because Clint is retreating to the bathroom and suddenly the shower is running.

But Bucky keeps his towels in the cupboard next to his clothes closet, so he trudges over and grabs one and knocks once on the bathroom door before opening it.

What Bucky doesn't expect to see when he does is Clint with his fingers in his _eye_.

"What the fuck are you doing!?"

Clint jumps, startled, then clutches at his eye with a groan of pain.

"Ah, fuck. Fuck, shit, oh my god," he whines repeatedly.

"Shit, are you okay? What the fuck?"

He steers Clint to sit on the closed toilet lid as Clint offers no explanation and keeps muttering expletives.

"Clint, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Bucky knows it's possible to glare with one eye – he's met Nick Fury plenty of times – but seeing it come from Clint is almost comical.

"It's my contact lens, asshole. Don't you knock?"

"I did knock, asshole."

Clint weakly smacks at Bucky's hand as he tries to get closer to help. Seconds pass before Clint's words register.

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me." Clint stands up and makes his way back over to the mirror. The shower is still running so it's fogged up, but Clint just groans and sticks his fingers back into his eye. This time, he emerges with what is indeed a contact lens. "I can't see all that great, Buck. And no one knew, up until now, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't go around telling everyone that the great Hawkeye is blind as a bat without glasses."

Bucky blinks. "You have _glasses?!"_

Clint is entirely unamused, rubbing at his one teary eye and glaring with the other.

"Wait." A thought suddenly plagues Bucky's brain. "Is this why you wouldn't stay over? You didn't want me to know that you don't have perfect vision?"

Clint just keeps glaring.

“Is this why you never open your eyes in the morning? And never make your own coffee? How the hell–?” Bucky laughs. "Oh my god, you're so fucking dumb."

"Oh, great, yeah. I'm blind and deaf and dumb, I get it. I hit the trifecta of fucked up. Add depressed to that–"

Bucky shakes his head and puts a hand over Clint's mouth.

"You really are fucking dumb. But you're dumb because you think that you're any less capable because of any of those things, first of all." Bucky chuckles. "How many times do I have to tell you this? Bird brain. You're fine. You're perfect. You've got contacts and hearing aids and antidepressants. So what? My whole arm is made of vibranium."

Clint stops rubbing at his eye and nips the palm of Bucky's hand. He's pouting.

"But your thing is cool."

Bucky can't argue with that, so he sidesteps the comment, pushing himself up to his tiptoes so he can look Clint in the eye.

"I bet you look like a hot dad in your glasses."

Clint makes a fake gagging noise. "I hate you. Did you know that? I can't stand you." But he's grinning his brightest grin. Bucky's favorite.

"Nah." Bucky presses their foreheads together. "I think you love me."

Clint sighs. "And what if I do?"

Bucky's insides do a horribly funny thing.

"Then maybe I do, too."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [i hope i'll see you when it's light (the remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24798916) by [LoonyLoopyLisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLoopyLisa/pseuds/LoonyLoopyLisa)




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